The Universe Might Hate Me

Okay, okay. Clearly the universe does not hate me. I lead a very charmed life.

However, in the last couple months, I think it's safe to say that someone up there does not like me. Or someone is trying to tell me something.

Two break-ups in two months.

WTF???

The first one came at the end of a whirlwind 6-month relationship and it was devastating. Earth shattering. Heart breaking. We started out long distance and then he moved closer to be with me, and the plan was for me to move to him in March. We talked about marriage, children, a life, a future. When he broke up with me, I felt as though I'd been punched in the stomach.

The second one was just plain unfortunate. I met him only a month after the first break-up - WAY too soon. Obviously a rebound. But, also, an amazing guy. Really funny, easy-going, unpretentious, laid back, athletic, so much in common down to small likes and dislikes, AND he knows every player on the 1995/96 Mariners. He made me laugh and feel appreciated. It actually could have gone on for awhile. However, a bomb was dropped a few days ago that he got an internship (that he applied for OVER A YEAR AGO!!!) that will take him home to Boise, ID. He leaves in a week.

So that is why the universe might hate me.

I am not used to this kind of turn-over. I can name about 50 friends that I've known for at least 4 years, most of them for longer. And now in the last two months I have lost two people who were very important to me. I am learning how to let things go the hard way. I have no other options than to move on from both situations.

What do you do when your rebound ends suddenly??!! I guess this is a sign that I haven't healed yet from the first break-up. A rebound is a nice distraction, but only a temporary way to avoid dealing with real feelings and heartbreak. So, back to the drawing board. Time to really get over BF #1.

"Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now."